photo: weheartit
The most interesting thing I learned from my friend last night,
"In a relationship, a man's and a woman's value goes the opposite direction as time goes by. Man will work hard to get the attention and love of the woman he desires. Man's value at this time is much lower than woman. As he finally secures his woman and if his woman falls totally in love with him, woman's value starts to depreciate because she will automatically starts to think and plan for the man instead of herself first. They will no doubt put their man on their priority. Man, at this time, has an appreciated value, and continue to be when they start to build a family. The more children the woman produces, the more depreciated she will become because then the children will mean a lot more to the man than the woman."
This theory is so harsh, yet so blatantly true. It makes me think twice before putting a man as my top priority now. I used to prioritize all my ex's needs and depreciated my own in order to make him happy... and then not being appreciated because he had too much on his own plate... it made all my effort meaningless. I don't blame him because after all, he has some VERY complicated emotional issues and I don't think I was and will ever be a part of his future planning. Therefore, as I was waiting and expecting a future with him, and he never really wanted a future with me, it's like waiting for a bus that will never come. I could get frustrated all I want but "it's not gonna happen". So why don't I let go?
I love talking to my closest friends... they can analyze all the nitty-gritty aspects of my relationship and I feel so good after by just pouring everything out. They made me realize there's no point in hoping for something that it's not designated for me and not suitable for me. And frankly, I don't think I will ever be cut out for the complexity that follows if we actually continue. I will only get more and more exhausted. I depreciated myself where I became a girl with no self goals. What makes him happy, makes me happy. When we started to date, he always said what made me happy, made him happy. I didn't realize I lost myself so much throughout these 4 years.
All along, I was just in denial by seeing everything as hunky-dory, and everything could be resolved. It wasn't. I knew it back then but I just chose to ignore it. Now, I can feel that I'm on the right track to build myself back up again. I no longer yearn to be back with my ex.
I have no problem to befriend with him... that is, if he wants to.
