I have been super busy since my last blog...

These 2 weeks I have been "bombarded" by 2 of my best friends's love crisis:

One has a pregnancy scare where I was "literally" with her everyday (literally meaning texting and calling ... as she doesn't want her boyfriend to know. Why? Because this "scare" wasn't caused her boyfriend...) She ended up OK, not pregnant BUT she finally cleared up her mind and decided to end the relationship with her "mister" and be with her boyfriend. I know she is not happy about this decision but at least, she knows this will the right thing to do and I finally have some peace of mind.

The other friend has a major argument with her boyfriend as her boyfriend wants to take a break to "think things through". I told her it's really not that bad, as he wasn't even half as definite as my ex was. I told her to at least give him some time to think... then everyday, my phone would ring "WHY HASN'T HE CALLED YET? IS IT LONG ENOUGH YET? I THINK THIS IS IT! HE WANTS OUT... HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.... OMG... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... HE MIGHT BE WITH ANOTHER GIRL... YOU THINK HE DOESN'T LIKE ME? YOU THINK HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE? YEAH, I THINK THIS IS THE END.... THIS MUST BE THE END... I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THINGS I SAID. BUT THEN HE CAN'T BLAME ALL ON ME, HE HAS FAULTS TOO!! BUT I STILL LOVE HIM A LOT... WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO? SHOULD I CALL HIM NOW? OR..."

I just told her, "Stop talking. It's been only 12 hours since he told you he wants to "think" and here you are, spinning like a crazy broken record. Going nuts. If I were him, I would not want to hear from you... AT ALL." You THINK what I said would fend her off? No. She rapid-texted me the next couple of days. And by "rapid-texting", it means I literally didn't even need to reply, she will just fire off all things she needed to say first and then I just needed to reply, "and?" and she would continue. Her thumbs are way faster than ALL my fingers.

As for me... I went to a few singles parties to meet some new people. Not good. Why? because the majority of the crowds are women... like 8 women to 1 guy. WAY aggressive women. Tight dresses, high heels, fake laughs, heavy makeup. I was way to casual comparing to them. Guys? slim-pickings. A couple of the guys came to me to introduce themselves. They are nice but not my type. One is too "baby" for me and trying too hard to be an "adult" by throwing all kinds of finance terms and whatnot to my face. I don't know crap about anything finance so.... The other guy... very eager to please but I have no idea what he was talking about the whole night. He has this huge accent and I barely understood what he was talking about. He immediately messaged me that night and asking to meet up sometimes. I had a tough time understanding him that night... and I really don't want to continue to embarrass myself by keep on asking "Sorry? pardon? " Maybe he will think I'm deaf.

There is another guy who is cute and he gave me this cute smile across the bar. Then an aggressive lady in a tight black dress just came and swooped him away to talk to her before he could come over to introduce himself. Sigh... oh well, just my luck.

Comparing myself to these women, I'm really not aggressive enough. But then, I think to myself, shouldn't love come naturally? and not like get it while it's available!! Supplies while quantities last!!? I don't know... it's like a war zone out there... it's scary.

Last thing, I'm going back home next week!! I'm so glad I could take another leave before the year's end. (Trade-off? I will need to carry all my work stuff with me the whole time... answering all work emails daily to keep up.) It's going to be a short trip, so I'm going to make the best out of it. I need to get away from the madness of work AND dating world, and hide away in the quiet yet comfortable surrounding with all my good ol' friends. I can't wait :)

My good friend (who is now on vacay with her "mistress"... (umm, I don't know the male version of a woman's "mistress")... while her dumb boyfriend is still working hard thinking his girlfriend is on a shopping trip with her friends) once said,

I start to think about her saying recently... is this the reason why I'm still single? because I'm too mundane? too stable? being too content? I guess I'm way too into the Stepford wife mode. I always believe in being a companion in the long run than just being a "moment" for someone.

Perhaps, I'm way too old-fashioned and serious for the current dating world...

But truth be told, I don't think I will change... and I don't think I should change. If a guy likes what he sees and I'm what he is looking for, then things will eventually click... right?

Or, am I being too passive here?

One guy leaves, one "guy" enters. I'm really thankful for having him in my life.

My normal week consists of WORK-REST, WORK-REST, WORK-REST with little yoga sessions stuck in between.

I start to wonder is there more to life than just WAKE UP, WORK, REST?? Life is so pointless if we live just to work day in and day out. I was discussing this with my mom last night. I feel like I need something more than just work. I want to have fun... and not just after-work dinner with friends when we are all tired as hell. I yearn to have the same type of freedom when I was back in Vancouver, where I can drive to a beach and just sit there for a couple hours looking over to the other shore... or walking around and browsing in the fresh markets to buy groceries and fresh flowers and pastries... doing dine-outs with good friends on weeknights... or going to friends' backyard BBQs on weekend... grab a cup of coffee while shopping...etc.

Then my mom said something that just hit me...

"If you don't work hard, how can you do all the things you just said? All the things you did back in Vancouver was with our money so even when you were doing internships and part-times, those weren't real jobs. What you are doing now is really what other people are doing.... WORK. You are really WORKING now."

Sigh, work is not fun. Work takes a lot out of you (at least it took the 'carefree' out of me). I guess in order for me to be able to do what I used to do, I need to support it with money... and LOTS of it. My friends who recently came to visit me from Vancouver said I seem to have changed a bit. They feel like I am not as "ditzy" as before but now more mature. I guess not only am I growing into 30's, I feel the pressure of responsibilities on my shoulders as well. I can't be as carefree and idealistic as before. I understand that things cannot always go my way and I have to learn to accept it. Things cannot be forced and I need to learn to take them as they are. I don't know if work has changed me into a better and mature person, or changed me into a no-fun and mundane person...

I wish I can be 26 again...