My normal week consists of WORK-REST, WORK-REST, WORK-REST with little yoga sessions stuck in between.

I start to wonder is there more to life than just WAKE UP, WORK, REST?? Life is so pointless if we live just to work day in and day out. I was discussing this with my mom last night. I feel like I need something more than just work. I want to have fun... and not just after-work dinner with friends when we are all tired as hell. I yearn to have the same type of freedom when I was back in Vancouver, where I can drive to a beach and just sit there for a couple hours looking over to the other shore... or walking around and browsing in the fresh markets to buy groceries and fresh flowers and pastries... doing dine-outs with good friends on weeknights... or going to friends' backyard BBQs on weekend... grab a cup of coffee while shopping...etc.

Then my mom said something that just hit me...

"If you don't work hard, how can you do all the things you just said? All the things you did back in Vancouver was with our money so even when you were doing internships and part-times, those weren't real jobs. What you are doing now is really what other people are doing.... WORK. You are really WORKING now."

Sigh, work is not fun. Work takes a lot out of you (at least it took the 'carefree' out of me). I guess in order for me to be able to do what I used to do, I need to support it with money... and LOTS of it. My friends who recently came to visit me from Vancouver said I seem to have changed a bit. They feel like I am not as "ditzy" as before but now more mature. I guess not only am I growing into 30's, I feel the pressure of responsibilities on my shoulders as well. I can't be as carefree and idealistic as before. I understand that things cannot always go my way and I have to learn to accept it. Things cannot be forced and I need to learn to take them as they are. I don't know if work has changed me into a better and mature person, or changed me into a no-fun and mundane person...

I wish I can be 26 again...