I had a good December as my closest friends came to visit and we had a very good time. It's hard to live in a place where you don't have too much friends and you will get lost in your train of thoughts....well, mainly sad. But this December had made me leave all my sad thoughts (originated from the breakup). It was liberating.
A new year came around and I realized I'm starting to have a crush on someone new. I know it's not going to happen but somehow it's quite refreshing to know that I actually can like someone else. For the whole time I was with my ex, I never liked anyone else. Now that I actually LIKE someone new, made me feel somewhat excited. The last time I actually had a crush on someone was with my "unofficial boyfriend" in university. It was long ago. I never thought I would go back to the "I have a crush on you" route. I thought I was too old for that already.
I'm not getting high hopes on this new guy because I know this is just an infatuation. He is too good-looking and I think he is a big flirt. I always tease about the fact how women will crazily flock to their personal trainer... and here I am, starting to have a crush on my yoga instructor. *embarrassed* Every class, he would come over to fix my posture. Yes, every class... Out of a class of 20+ women, he would come to me (even when I was minding my own business in the corner, hiding behind those who were not too good in holding the poses) several times to guide my postures. He guided me 4-5 times per class while he guides others once or none. At first, I thought "Do I suck THAT BAD in yoga?! He didn't fix other people this much in the class..." So I tested by moving away from the front, and try to station myself at different places in the room for each class, he would still "detect" me and come over to "fix" me... with the WARMEST SMILE. Then I started to feel somewhat ... weird. Questions start to fill my head, like "why me?" But then the logical side of me pulls me back in.... "This is just an infatuation. It will go away." or "maybe he wants you to continue to come to classes so he will have more business and reputation" or "he is too good-looking to be straight"... etc.
Surprisingly, I believe all that. I know it will go away. I think I have become more cautious and I really cannot afford to fall head-over-heels anymore. I'm at a point in my life where I should be looking for someone to get marry to, not to have a crush on.
