Before, even the thought of not being together with my ex scared me. I just couldn't imagine how devastated I would be if it comes true. I never really want to even remotely think about it... the thought was just too dreadful... so I tried my very best to be as good as a girlfriend as I possibly could... trying to make him happy.
But when it actually happened, I thought I would never be able to continue. I felt so lost. I lost him and I also lost myself. I found out without him, I didn't know what I want. Basically all my life goals had something to do with him or our future. In order for me to make a decision, I would contemplate to see if this decision of mine would be beneficial to him. I wanted to "plan" our life so that everything could fall into place as we progress with our careers... and make it easier for him. Because I was so into setting this heart-warming image in my head of us together, I forgot to even do a reality check... to see if he was also on board.
When I found out he was not, it was too late. He made a decision of his own already.
Now, things have settled. We are apart. It's a fact. He is not going to come back. That's a fact.
all images above: wehearit
I'm fine. And I'm going to be fine... Because I need to continue to explore what life has to offer.
(And may I say, shopping is one hell of a good therapy? I think the retail industry is grateful of my ex. I blew my year-end bonus + commission on 3 pairs of ballet flats, a coat, and a dress, and some accessories after that dream of mine. All these cost me an arm and a leg... and perhaps a head, as well! but I have to admit... I feel much better after!! )
Nice Blog :)
im sorry to hear about your breakup. it's never easy going thru a loss like that esp when you feel like you lost a part of yourself. but maybe it doesnt have to be a loss. its a gain in a lot of ways & it gives u an opportunity to find yourself again and build a stronger foundation.
u seem like you have a good head on your shoulders so im sure all u need is time to grieve & heal. and soon you'll be back stronger than ever.
I know what you mean, I think I cried too much for guys already and it's not even funny how long it takes to get over them! But I'm like the girl in the last quote, I'm fine and I will get better. It was so hard to write a blog post when he left me and I was crying when I was updating my blog most of the time but I continue anyway but now I'm smiling despite the fact that he's not with me. Strangely enough, I don't care anymore. I guess it happens when he turned out to be such an asshole in the end (I'm sorry about that rude word!). xoxoxoxoo
P.S. Yes, shopping is the best therapy, hands down! xoxoxoo
very impressive thoughts