source: weheartit
A recent former classmate of mine broke up with her boyfriend of 10 years. They basically started dating when she was in university... and he was working right after highschool. She is now 33 and she had to break it off. The guy is devastated and she is crying everyday as well. She feels sad for having to let go of what they have built for these 10 years.
The reason? She is on her way up the career ladder and yet he is still working at some mediocre jobs. She is at the age of marriage yet his career has not been picking up since they started dating. He is doing several part-time/freelance jobs. Slowly, the distance between them are getting further and further apart. (You might say that she should've known when they started dating!! But then in the beginning, everything is always looking rosy.) He wants to marry her but she feels that he will not be able to support her the way he is holding his jobs. She wants someone who can take care of her and her family, and not the other way around. She feels tired and exhausted. And that's why she calls it quit.
After I heard her story, I understood her pain and the whole story resonates with me. I was at the same position as her .... except it was my ex who pulled the plug, not me. I wanted to help him to build something out of himself but he thinks I'm just taking too much control over his life. I panicked that he is not catching up, so I tried to put more effort. And it suffocated him. For me, it's like you are blindly dragging a heavy wagon without even looking back to see if everything on your wagon is still intact.
I knew that our story would end up something like hers. I knew it even when I was with my ex but I was optimistic that everything would work out as long as you put your heart into it. Now, her story is like a picture of how it would actually turn out if my ex and I were to be together 10 years down the road.
I have heard numerous stories and seen many couples who are going through something similar like this. Those who didn't breakup, ended up living together like strangers or enemies. No love, just resentment of each other. One might feel useless around the other, one might think the other is not working hard enough... Rarely will I find some couples who can compromise with each other and work together as a team.
Anyways, some people might say she is being too materialistic. But when you are in her shoes, you will understand how exhausting to be with someone who are not on the same page.
I will admit that it does sound horrible to leave someone after ten years simply because his job isn't taking him anywhere; because he won't be able to support you. But I do agree with her decision. If she stayed with him things would just get worse. She would keep pushing him do something with his career and he would resent her for smothering him and having a much better career. Its not completely materialistic for a women to worry about being adequetly supported herself and for a family to come. It's truly just realistic to want to be sure that your future family can and will be supported.