Met up with a friend who I haven't seen in years a few days ago.

She will be getting married with her long-time boyfriend next Summer. (This is really not a big news for me anymore as almost half of my friends are married now or getting close to getting married.) She and her fiance are very busy working all the time and there's practically no time for wedding prep. They are both not earning much but both of them are working hard together in order to save up to buy a small apartment. They have to put aside a lot of money for down payments and for the whole wedding where they have no money left for honeymoon. She said they will go when they save enough.

I look at her talking about her wedding matters, I realize she doesn't seem to be as excited as I expected for someone who is about to get marry. She seems nonchalant. She told me the "realistic side" of the marriage has taken the fun out of getting married. It's all about money, decision-makings, planning, deadlines....etc. She envied me where I can still be able to afford to splurge on clothing or accessories whenever I can afford... and be able to afford to take trips whenever I can get away with from work... and be able to spoil my corgi like "he's the king". She envies my singlehood.

I think grass is always greener on the other side. I envy her for finding a man who is willing to take care of her and make a commitment to her. I think that's more satisfying and more valuable than any handbags you own or a closet full of fancy clothes (unfortunately, my closet is full of non -fancy clothes....crap, mainly... I think I need to clear my closet soon... sigh... I digress...).

Thorough dinner, she kept mentioning "We are not young anymore. It's time to get married!" I asked her if she is really getting married because she is ready to be with him as married couple or she wants to get married just because "it's time" to be part of the "norm"? She looked at me and said "I just feel I need to get married now or it'll be too late to have children." (Mind you, she is a couple months younger than me.... she is not even 30 yet.) To be honest, I don't think she is the only one who think this way amongst all my married friends. They get married not because of love, they get married because of TIME. Call me naive but I still think I need to get married to someone I really love... not because of time... not because it is the norm. I'd be lying if I didn't feel pressured to get married but because I have no one in sight or interested so people are trying to set me up with "what's left".... meaning the tiny pool of single guys in our social network. I don't want to feel pressured to date. I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe if it's the right time, the right guy will show up. BUT! A lot of my friends are saying I'm being totally unrealistic and really should not be afraid to go into a new relationship. (I will save that topic for another day.)

Anyways, I think that's what my friend say for now because of the pre-marital stress but if we are going to switch, I don't think she would give up what she has right now.