Was planning to squeeze a little getaway with boyfriend before he leaves.  We planned to go to Okinawa, Japan for a 3 days 2 nights mini trip.  Hot damn... it was more than USD1200!!  Needless to say, we got to cancel.

Soooooo disappointed.  I shouldn't have worked up my expectations...  I find a lot of the times, I tend to work up such a high expectation and dream about a perfect scenario... but then when things didn't work out or go as planned, I will fall hard on my own disappointment.

I really need to change this tendency of mine.  I got to keep everything light so when it doesn't go according to plan, I wouldn't be bummed out.

Boyfriend is now thinking of a mini LOCAL trip instead...  sigh....

My boyfriend finally bought his flight ticket.  Originally he wanted to buy a return ticket for returning in April... but then after discussing with his parents, he feels it's best to get a one-way ticket.  I hate the thought of one-way ticket.  It just makes me sad.  But then I have to remind myself, this is the correct thing to do, this is a correct thing to do, this is a correct thing to do...

He is leaving on the 7th of December (as his father's surgery is mid December) and he said he is still planning to come back in April, given his father's condition is more stable by then.  He said if he get a one-way ticket and when it is OK, he can return earlier and just buy a ticket and go.

Anyways, I'm trying to see when my schedule allows for me to go visit him in Phoenix.  Most likely in mid March because my best friend's wedding is in early March... so as a maid of honor, I've got to be here.  

I think having a long distance relationship, it's best and crucial to have a return date to look forward to.  I failed last time because I didn't even have a return date.  This time, I want him to give me a time of return... even though it might be tentative, but at least I have something we both can look forward to.

I just hope his father can recover very very soon.

Hi, I'm still here.  And my boyfriend is still here... not physically besides me but he is still in town.  He is now planning to leave mid November but he has been trying to delay in booking his flight ticket.  I told him that we are doing the right thing and this will be a test for us.  He said he dreaded to go back home because the unforeseeable return date really upsets him.  I told him, at most, it will take 4-6 months for his dad to fully recover.  I told him, let this time apart be a time for him to think things through and think about our future together.

P.S. - We are official boyfriend-girlfriend now.  According to him, I'm his "potential wife".  :)  He is the kind of person who doesn't take relationship too lightly.  He said he will make it "official" when he sees me as someone he will marry.  He just cannot call someone his "girlfriend" if he cannot see marrying.  Let's hope that he will do what he says he would!  

It's been a while since I blogged.  Yes, things are going well and stable with me and C.  We have the same strong feeling towards each other and we enjoy each other's company.  We can make each other laugh and he is very caring at the same time.

But knowing the fact that he might leave sometime soon makes me upset...  It's like, why my relationship always get torn by long distance?  He might need to go back to the States to see his dad who is recovering from a surgery.  His mom wants him to go back to help.  He is depressed as he doesn't want to go but at the same time, he feels the need to be with his parents at this difficult time.  He fears that he might not be able to come back once he left... or he wouldn't know WHEN he can come back.  To me, equally sad.  Of course I never want him to leave but at the same time, I can't be selfish to keep him by my side and let his parents face this time alone.  We are now trying to find a compromise in between.  I just hope that whatever this is, it can be a win-win situation.

We are now taking it day by day, enjoying it while we can.  Very bittersweet each time we see each other.  He is avoiding to face the fact that he needs to go because he will get very very upset.  I sure as hell don't want to bring it up because it will make me tear up.

Feeling sad and at the same time knowing we need to do the right thing, is killing us both.

Yes, you read it correctly.  Almost.  Close.  I'm ALMOST in love.

I have been going out with the marketing guy, C.  I caved and met up with him before mid August... as I said I would in my last post.  After that first date, we have been going out almost every 2-3 days.  He is a sweetie.  I think because he is bigger  (I wouldn't say he is chubby but somehow just big...), I feel like I'm hanging around with a ginormous teddy bear.  I feel safe and protected.  He is silly and loves to make me laugh... yet at the same time, he is very dedicated on his business.  He loves to hug me and likewise for me.  We text each other every single day... asking each other how their day goes... what they are doing... what they are seeing throughout the day... It was sweet.  I haven't felt like this for a long time.

I told him that we've only met each other online a little less than a month ago... went out on our first date less than 2 weeks ago... but I feel like we are really comfortable with each other as if we have known each other for a long time.  He said he felt exactly the same... it's weird.  A lot of my friends said I shouldn't rush into this relationship but take time to know each other first.  I guess they feel that I'm not as patient as I should be.  I understand this relationship is still too early... too green... but I feel like I want to be with him.  I like to be with him.  He has stopped responding to his matches on eHarmony and planning to take off his profile... "I just don't think I care to look any further now that I've met you..."  He said he wants to discover more about me before moving to the next step because he feels if he moves this forward, he has to see his girlfriend as his potential wife as well.  If not, he wouldn't want to proceed.  When we hang out, he asks me a lot of the future questions... like what's my take on kids... how many kids I want... my take on marriage... where to live after married....etc.  We are more or less on the same page.

What made me feel a little iffy is... if we are all compatible and if he is as crazy about me as he said he is.... then what are we waiting for?  My friends said I shouldn't dive head-over-heels for him just yet and still need to date other people because I shouldn't take him seriously until we are exclusive.  Everyone is telling me to take this relationship casually for now...

I don't know.  If I take him casually, I might as well just take him as a normal friend.  What we are feeling for each other is way more than just normal friends.  So, I honestly don't know how to be "casual" with him...  He is just too sweet~

And yes... I finally smile from the heart now.   :)

I recently have been introduced to eHarmony by a friend.  She sounded like one of those cheesy testimonies on eH's TV ads.  She is a flight attendant, so you know she cannot look shit-faced.   However, she has been someone rather luck-less in love.  The guys she dated always had commitment-phobia.  She decided to give eH a try, and she met 2 guys who went NUTS about her.  Freaks?  No, they are good-looking men with very decent jobs (she showed me the pictures of them going on dates... definitely NOT freaks or butt-uglies).  One is a realtor (who has quite a few properties of his own) and the other one is an owner of a logistic company.  I always tell her, "you lucky bastard..."

I have been living under loud loud renovation noises for over a month already.  I'm going insane soon.  Both my neighbors... upstairs AND down were moving out, their flats are now BOTH renovating.  At work, the building itself is doing some renovations as well.  I'm going crazy soon.  Until I find my peace of mind... or at least they stop the renovation process.... I will be back.  I can't even seem to go through a day without feeling sooooooooo irritated and sooooooooo draining these days.  So, apologies if I have been hiding in my shell for a bit.  I can't think straight... with these heavy drilling and hammering noises.  I guess, that's the fun of living in Hong Kong.

I'm about to bite someone...