To share with you...
momojae
source: weheartit
One of my very good friends recently went through a breakup (see? it's like a domino effect... a lot of the girls in my year broke up with their boyfriend... are we cursed in 2010?! or guys we dated just suddenly went nutso in 2010? HAHA! All my friends either got engaged in 2010 or they would break up. It's like there is no "middle point"!). She sent me a little excerpt of quotes by an old Chinese author, who was well-known for her woman literature (I read some of her works before... interesting read, no doubt.) I pick some of her quotes to share with you....

No matter how good this man is to you, how caring, how attentive... If he doesn't love you, this is a fatal flaw, and you will never be able to change it.
Regardless how bad your qualities are, there are always someone out there who loves you. Vice versa, regardless how good and attractive you are, there are always people who will not love you.
If you blame love for hurting you, please ask yourself, did you give out permission in the very beginning for love to come into your life?
If a person is busy, it's because he/she doesn't want to be free. If a person cannot leave, it's because he/she doesn't want to leave. If a person is making a lot of excuses to get away with things, it's because he/she doesn't care anymore.
There are things where you can never fully explain or understand. If you think it's worth it, then you will believe it is. If you think it's not worth it, and other people say it's worth it, you will not feel the same way.
Man will like a person very easily but difficult to love someone deeply and whole-heartedly.
Woman, when she is in love, will cut the world off in order to indulge herself.
Don't even strive to change someone because no one can be changed completely. It only comes down to if that person is willing to be changed for you.
Time can make you understand love, prove love, and also overthrow love.
Please don't say there are no good man left in the world. Don't hate the person who leaves you because after all, he did love you, cared for you, and made you feel loved at one point.
Not all hard work will lead to success, especially in relationship, but if you don't put effort in it, it will definitely not going to work.
You have to love yourself... no matter how depressed and hopeless you feel. The more you don't love yourself, the more unlovable you become.
Let go. Don't hold on to the things you lost. Maybe they are not meant to be yours.
Have to be independent. Regardless in love or about your finance.
If you need to find out if a man is good or bad, don't evaluate base on if he is loyal or not. Man is always tempted to look "elsewhere" ... but it's his self-control to not act on it, that's the key.
You notice that a lot of the most memorable love usually do not end in a happy ending?
Strong and confident woman is always more beautiful than a weak woman. If your lover won't love you anymore, I suggest to gather all your strength to let go and leave, than to linger on endlessly, hoping your lover will come back.
A woman can compromise is a virtue. If a woman only knows to compromise, that is a true sign of weakness.
Be a confident woman. Beauty originates from confidence.

(For guys reading this post, I hope you will still find it useful for you to pick up the pieces and move forward. )
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Justified Bitterness?
momojae
Is it necessary to become "publicly bitter" to your ex when you, yourself, have moved on with a new man/woman? For me, I really don't find the necessity to be bitter of your ex if you have already found someone new.

This actually is happening to a guy friend of mine. He and his ex broke up around the same time as my ex broke up with me. Recently, his ex has been posting really bitter comments on her facebook about how bad this year has been because of "someone" and how he ruined her life...etc. She didn't state the name but everyone knows who that "someone" is. I understand how and why she is feeling this way. Sometimes, when you have invested so much into one person, putting all your faith and dreams of your future in this person, and all of a sudden everything just shatters, this blow to your entire well-being is quite massive..... BUT, that is, if you continue to let it. My friend chose to befriend with her and continued to care about her right after their breakup because he cared for her and perhaps to ease his own guilt. However, the bitterness in her continues to take control of her, even after a year. Because his ex and I were both "left" by our man, we became close friends... you know... "misery loves company". We chatted everyday and vented our breakup and whatnot....

Then slowly, I realize I don't really want to repeatedly saying or reminding myself how hurt I am and how sad I am... I got kind of sick talking about it. I wanted to remember my ex as the person who I was with back then... how nice he was to me... not when he broke up with me... not who he is now. The person he is now is different to me. That somehow served as a closure. There's really no point of posting nasty and bitter stuff on my facebook to "show" my ex and others how much damage he did (well... doing this blog is a separate thing~ My ex didn't know about this blog...does that still count?). However, my friend's ex-girlfriend has apparently moved on and start to date other people, and rumor has it that she is now with a new boyfriend. My guy friend was a little pissed. Not because she is now dating someone new... but now that she is with someone else, she still cannot stop bad-mouthing him. My friend chose to keep his mouth shut and take everything in. At first, I told him, "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR LEAVING HER!! You deserve to suck up this bitterness!" This was like a few months after their breakup. Now, they have past their one-year breakup anniversary, I felt, "Is it really necessary to continue to be this bitter?? even when you already have a new boyfriend?" Perhaps this new guy is a rebound for her? so that's why she feels the need to continue to be bitter? My friends always say out of his ex and I, I'm healing much better. I'm able to get my life back and stand back up again. I wouldn't say this is a competition. I think I really don't want to go back to the days where I cry every single day and not being able to focus on anything. I hated it. I hated how useless I was and how clingy and weak I felt. If he didn't want me, I have to "want" myself and be good to myself. If you can't even be good to yourself, who will guarantee to be good to you? I'd rather let go then to hold on to grudges towards my ex.

I don't know... if I'm dating someone new, my focus will be on the new guy. Why would I still want to continue wasting my time bad-mouthing my ex? What do you think? Is her bitterness justified when she is now dating someone new?

source: weheartit
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A brand new chapter..... the big 3-0!
momojae
source: weheartit

Finally left my 20's last week. Now, I'm in a brand new chapter. I haven't had much luck in love in my 20's so I really hope things can work out better in my 30's.... I'm sick of meeting the wrong guys.

People might think as the age number increases, the chances of finding love decreases. Sure enough but it really doesn't affect me. If that person truly loves you, he will love you .... regardless of your age. No point of faking or denying the fact that you are now in your 30's. I've always seen age as a number... a pretty meaningless number (except for meeting regulations of some sort). As long as you are happy at where you are, that's all that matters. (I don't feel any older than 29!! HAHA!!)

Anyways, be true to your age and act like your age. (No point of dumbing yourself down in order to be seen as "youthful". THAT, would be pretty pathetic.) Since love is not on my side now, I have to focus on career (You ought to make something out of yourself!!).

CHEERS to 30's!! May Mr. Right finally comes!

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Palm-reading
momojae
source: weheartit
Do you believe in fortune-telling? I do, if they are correct. (DUH!!)

When I was in school, I was a fan of Tarot Cards. I always asked if my highschool crush liked me... you know... those typical puppy-love questions. The cards always gave me inconsistent answers. As I get older, I would go for fortune-telling sessions. Again, I was looking for positive answers and I did for a lot of the times. Especially about my love life. I find myself tend to ask more when I feel insecure about my love life and I hope someone will give me a peace of mind. When my previous relationship with my "unofficial boyfriend" finished, the oracle said "Don't worry because the person is already here and he will come to you. Just be patient. He will be very good to you because you two were meant to be." Wouldn't you know... my ex came to my attention within a few months and confessed his love. I believed it even more. When I was with my ex, I hardly ask anymore because I've never felt so secure with him. Then when I moved for work, I asked again, time and time again, the oracles told me not to worry because he will stay and we will be very happy together.

Then he broke up with me.

I kept asking why in my head. I don't know what went wrong. Then, came this past December when my friends came to visit me. We went for a fortune-telling session. They asked about career and I, of course, asked for love. This was my first palm-reading session ever. It was eerie. The fortune-teller could describe a lot about my ex when I haven't even opened my mouth yet. He could see how old my ex is, his personality, and even his family. I was surprised.

According to this fortune-teller, apparently my ex and I were meant to go a long way... but somehow, something just "cut us apart". The "love line" on my hand did have a tiny little line cut perpendicularly across. If it wasn't this line, we would've gone a long way happily. (Yes, he said "happily"! Maybe my ex wouldn't need to pretend to love me afterall.) What does this tiny line represent, I can't pinpoint because he just had way too much hiding in him that I don't even know. Anyways, I was very interested in knowing if I will find someone. He said I will and soon, but it really matters if I'm willing to give this guy a chance and give myself a chance. Funny, at this moment, I have no guys in my life at all. All my guy friends are back in my hometown and I have been hanging out mostly with my girl friends here. ( WHERE ARE YOU?!!!??!) Maybe I'll just have to keep looking and definitely need to keep my eyes open. My life, according to this fortune-teller, is meant for 2 to 3 years of dating in a relationship and then I have to get married. If the dating part takes more than 2-3 years, it will go down the drain. Let's just hope this fortune-teller is accurate because apparently my future husband is a good and successful man.

Anyways, my point is, no matter how much effort I put into holding on to my relationship with my ex, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Just like that little line on my palm, it will cut us apart. And it will always serve as a reminder to me not to force anything to happen anymore.


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"I wouldn't trade you for the world..."
momojae
source: tattoologist

I would melt if someone did that for me... and wrapping his arms around me to keep me warm.

A girl can always dream, no?





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Soulmate
momojae


Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

"Soulmate" - Natasha Bedingfield

If you're with your soulmate, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! (And don't do anything stupid and rash to loose what you have.)

If you are single, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY WITH FRIENDS!! (I believe there's a soulmate for everyone... wish you can find yours very soon!)

If you are neither, HAPPY MONDAY!!
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Approaching V-Day
momojae
I find myself sounding like a broken record more and more on this blog. But in real life, I speak less and less about my breakup and my ex. I find there's no point of discussing about it anymore with my friends and family... and I have lost that "urge to share the pain" with them. To them, I'm a headstrong person and I intend to keep it that way. Frankly, I have lost the urge to talk about my ex anymore (unless it is due to unforeseen circumstances.... which I don't know what it will be.... maybe I'll talk about him soon... who knows?). Approaching a year's mark of our breakup anniversary, I really think it's about time for me to go back out to the dating game. My friend last night had warned me again that we (me and her) are not getting any younger. As our friends around are either getting married and some are also having babies, I have to do something with myself instead of sulking in the rut which I have been in for a year. She has been trying to introduce me to some of her boyfriend's friends. I wasn't in the mood to meet any of them. (And needless to say, I dropped the idea of hoping things would happen with that "poster boy" yoga instructor as well. What's the point??!) As a girl approaching the big "three-O" VERY VERY SOON, I think people around me are getting more desperate for me than myself. I like to just leave it in the hands of fate but people around me aren't feeling it. If it's meant to be, it will be. He will come.

source: weheartit

Anyways, as V-day is approaching, how do the freshly-brokenhearted survivors go through this PINK HEARTS EXPLOSION DAY? Reminisce about the past of how your ex used to send you a dozen of long-stemmed roses? How your ex used to send you on a scavenger hunt when the ultimate reward was him? For first V-Day-as-a-single-gal-in-a-while, I'm just going to treat it as any other normal day. Why bother to make myself bitter because I'm single this year?

What's your plan for this year's Valentine's Day/Single Gal's Day?
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I'm fine.
momojae
Before, even the thought of not being together with my ex scared me. I just couldn't imagine how devastated I would be if it comes true. I never really want to even remotely think about it... the thought was just too dreadful... so I tried my very best to be as good as a girlfriend as I possibly could... trying to make him happy.


But when it actually happened, I thought I would never be able to continue. I felt so lost. I lost him and I also lost myself. I found out without him, I didn't know what I want. Basically all my life goals had something to do with him or our future. In order for me to make a decision, I would contemplate to see if this decision of mine would be beneficial to him. I wanted to "plan" our life so that everything could fall into place as we progress with our careers... and make it easier for him. Because I was so into setting this heart-warming image in my head of us together, I forgot to even do a reality check... to see if he was also on board.

When I found out he was not, it was too late. He made a decision of his own already.

Now, things have settled. We are apart. It's a fact. He is not going to come back. That's a fact.

all images above: wehearit

I'm fine. And I'm going to be fine... Because I need to continue to explore what life has to offer.


(And may I say, shopping is one hell of a good therapy? I think the retail industry is grateful of my ex. I blew my year-end bonus + commission on 3 pairs of ballet flats, a coat, and a dress, and some accessories after that dream of mine. All these cost me an arm and a leg... and perhaps a head, as well! but I have to admit... I feel much better after!! )
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