Is it necessary to become "publicly bitter" to your ex when you, yourself, have moved on with a new man/woman? For me, I really don't find the necessity to be bitter of your ex if you have already found someone new.

This actually is happening to a guy friend of mine. He and his ex broke up around the same time as my ex broke up with me. Recently, his ex has been posting really bitter comments on her facebook about how bad this year has been because of "someone" and how he ruined her life...etc. She didn't state the name but everyone knows who that "someone" is. I understand how and why she is feeling this way. Sometimes, when you have invested so much into one person, putting all your faith and dreams of your future in this person, and all of a sudden everything just shatters, this blow to your entire well-being is quite massive..... BUT, that is, if you continue to let it. My friend chose to befriend with her and continued to care about her right after their breakup because he cared for her and perhaps to ease his own guilt. However, the bitterness in her continues to take control of her, even after a year. Because his ex and I were both "left" by our man, we became close friends... you know... "misery loves company". We chatted everyday and vented our breakup and whatnot....

Then slowly, I realize I don't really want to repeatedly saying or reminding myself how hurt I am and how sad I am... I got kind of sick talking about it. I wanted to remember my ex as the person who I was with back then... how nice he was to me... not when he broke up with me... not who he is now. The person he is now is different to me. That somehow served as a closure. There's really no point of posting nasty and bitter stuff on my facebook to "show" my ex and others how much damage he did (well... doing this blog is a separate thing~ My ex didn't know about this blog...does that still count?). However, my friend's ex-girlfriend has apparently moved on and start to date other people, and rumor has it that she is now with a new boyfriend. My guy friend was a little pissed. Not because she is now dating someone new... but now that she is with someone else, she still cannot stop bad-mouthing him. My friend chose to keep his mouth shut and take everything in. At first, I told him, "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR LEAVING HER!! You deserve to suck up this bitterness!" This was like a few months after their breakup. Now, they have past their one-year breakup anniversary, I felt, "Is it really necessary to continue to be this bitter?? even when you already have a new boyfriend?" Perhaps this new guy is a rebound for her? so that's why she feels the need to continue to be bitter? My friends always say out of his ex and I, I'm healing much better. I'm able to get my life back and stand back up again. I wouldn't say this is a competition. I think I really don't want to go back to the days where I cry every single day and not being able to focus on anything. I hated it. I hated how useless I was and how clingy and weak I felt. If he didn't want me, I have to "want" myself and be good to myself. If you can't even be good to yourself, who will guarantee to be good to you? I'd rather let go then to hold on to grudges towards my ex.

I don't know... if I'm dating someone new, my focus will be on the new guy. Why would I still want to continue wasting my time bad-mouthing my ex? What do you think? Is her bitterness justified when she is now dating someone new?