One year ago, on the same day (and at the same time as I'm writing this), you decided to leave me. I was actually discussing with a consultant at the yoga club for joining the membership. After all, it was your idea that I should exercise more to keep in shape. I listened and I signed up for a year's membership and hoping to give you a surprise when you next see me. I got your email in my iPhone when I was waiting for the consultant to come back with the applications. I remember I couldn't even listen in a word from the girl's mouth. Her words sounded like movie playing backwards... didn't make any sense... My mind was blank. I stared blankly at the forms which they started to go blurry. I knew I was in a total shock and I knew my tears were about to fall. I didn't know how I got through the whole meeting and the whole time, I told myself to not cry... don't cry.... can't cry... I got out of the yoga club and out of the building. I was at the heart of the most crowded area in the city but I have never felt so alone. All the faces, as they were walking by, were blurry. My tears were starting to come out. I wandered on the streets and somehow I got to the bus stop. I really forgot how I got there... Got the bus... found a window seat and tears started rolling down uncontrollably. I tried my best to hold the tears in as much as possible but they somehow escaped. Finally got home, I just crumbled and cried ... and cried... and cried. I emailed you back saying I had to face-to-face talk to you on webcam. And you did the next day. It was the most lengthy and solemn talk I had with you. You still decided to leave. You cried because you didn't want to hurt me so much and yet you wouldn't want to stay.